Move to AZ

So I haven't blogged in FOREVER!  But I wanted to quickly make a post.  We are LOVING it here in Gilbert.  I love the school, I love the ward, and I love the people I am getting to know.  I miss my dear friends and family in Utah, very much, and so do my kids.  But all I can really say is that we have been greatly blessed.  We are in such a nice location and around such good people it really is wonderful.  I was nervous to leave Utah, and to leave green grass.  I am sure when the summer comes along I will really really miss Utah, but for now, I am not missing the freezing cold weather and there is green grass all around me (they say it's a Gilbert thing, so I guess this is where we will stay as long as we are here)!  
Anyway, the reason I wanted to blog was to say how much I have been enjoying my family lately.  I think the move has really brought things closer to heart.  I also just feel more like a real mom, not sure what is different exactly.  I have just been enjoying it more.  I don't like getting up ever, but it all starts with getting up early, then on to fix breakfast (sometimes even pancakes!!), fix my kids lunch, walk them to school, help them with schoolwork, make cookies with them, cook dinner with them, go shopping with them, go to the park, watch and listen to them playing, listen to their days, pray for them, fix them dinner, a snack, and kiss them goodnight.  It's a long, exhausting job, motherhood.  But I love those kids so much and I want to do so much more with them.  
I am loving watching Amelia as she gets into that adorable innocent stage of walking, talking, learning, and growing.  I love listening to Jonathan playing legos and singing his own theme music (quite loudly too--hilarious, and yes, I did get it on film!), I love when Mariah smiles at me and gives me a big hug, I love when Aubrey laughs her real laugh and her sweet smile.  I love being their mother and I am grateful for their sweet spirits.  Moving here has been really hard for them.  Mariah started crying as we walked into her new class on the first day of school.  Aubrey was the star of her old class and though she is making lots of new friends, it is really hard for her to not be the leader.  Jonathan gets lonely while his sisters are gone and I am busy unpacking, shopping, and whatnot.  Amelia has finally been weaned and is not happy about it.  But they are such good kids and they are trying so hard and really doing a great job.  They are making new friends and our ward is awesome.  My kids are such good friends as siblings and generally play really well and work really well together.  I really love it and I want our family to be close.  I love doing things as a family-it's a great gift indeed to have a wonderful family!

August 2011

Mariah having a little party with her toys while I was weeding in the front flowerbed.

Amelia helping me weed in the front flowerbed.  She really did bend over and move her hand in the motion I was as if she was weeding too.  It was really cute.

Jonathan & Aubrey playing with their duplo lego guns that they made.  They get pretty creative!

Aubrey building a structure with these sticks.  It's pretty amazing actually.  They are all balanced against each other.

Aubrey's first day of 2nd grade!  I sewed on a letter "A" to help distinguish hers from other kids (since it was the Target sale generic backpack, I figured there would be others just like it at school).  She really liked the "A" on it too!

Mariah's first day of first grade.  She did not want a letter on her backpack--but she may change her mind and decide she wants to personalize hers' a little.

Amelia loves to watch her siblings playing outside.  She squeals and hits the glass and gets so excited watching them!

Jonathan's first morning with his sisters both gone to school.  Dad got out the Star Wars toys for him to play with.  He wanted to take a picture and he actually did take this picture.

Sorry for the side-ways pictures!  I turned them before putting them on my blog, but they turn back.  I am not sure how to turn them on the blog.

Aubrey and Mariah are both enjoying school, though Mariah isn't enjoying that it is all day long.  Her favorite part of school is recess!  Aubrey doesn't have a favorite part--she enjoys it all except for Math (ironic since she is so good at math).

It is different to just have Jonathan and Amelia home during the day, but nice too.  I am glad the girls get out early on Fridays.  I wish school ended just an hour earlier so we had more time together on regular days.  I try to utilize the time they are home and do some fun things or have them participate in what I am doing (like making dinner).  I can't believe how busy I am each day and how quickly time flies.

Some of the cute, sweet, or funny things kids said this week:

Jonathan, "Mom, why do you kiss dad?"

Aubrey put me down on her paper as the person she most admires.

Amelia started clapping a lot and waving.  She also plays with Dad's Star Trek ships and makes cute sounds as she plays (he has been teaching her of course).

Aubrey and I learned how to play "clue" for our special time this week.  That was fun.  I was surprised that she caught on.  We tried to show Jonathan and Mariah but they didn't really get it.

Jonathan and I made cookies together that were super yummy!  He is getting better at cracking the eggs.

Mariah is an amazing helper with Amelia.  She plays very well with her and completely adores her.

Amelia can go down the stairs very good now.  She was so excited the first time and we all clapped and cheered for her.  It was so adorable.

All of my kids are really good kids and I enjoy being their mom and doing things with them.

Family Fun this Summer!

I can't believe how quickly the summer has gone by!  We have done so many fun things as a family and I don't want to forget them!  One of the things we started doing was to have "journal" time on Sunday afternoons, so  for my journal entry today I decided to blog about some of the fun and new things we have been doing this summer.

We started things off with Emily, my dear sister, coming out from Florida!  2 days later, Emily, Jeremy, and myself ran the Utah Valley Marathon together!  It was a great marathon and I would like to run it again--but this time without a bladder infection and without a nursing baby.  Those two things slowed me down a bit, but I still ran the whole thing and did a pretty good job!  Before the race, Jeremy (my brother just older than me) and I had some great training runs together--we did our final long run of 21 miles here in Riverton.  We did awesome on that run and I felt GREAT afterwards!  It was neat to run to Bluffdale, turn around, run to South Jordan, then run from the river trail, then up to and around the Oquirrh temple, and then back home.  Jeremy is great to run with, but doesn't live close enough to run regularly together.  I would love to run with him on a regular basis, but alas.  I sure wish I could find a female running buddy around here--especially one that can do distance.  I swear there is one out there and I will find her one day.  I sure miss running with Emily--who moved to Florida.  It was so fun to have her around again and we had so much fun her last night here.  I stayed at my parents and we played games, visited, laughed, were silly and had a great time!

So much to tell about, but not enough time, so I will sum up--we spent many fun days playing with cousins throughout June and July.  We had all of the Robertson's visiting over the 4th of July!  It was crazy with so many little kids, but really a lot of fun.  Jon's family came out at the end of July and we had several family gatherings at our house.  We almost finished our kitchen before family came, but not quite--oh well.  We still haven't done anything since all the family came out because we have been so busy and doing some other great things--I will blog about doing the kitchen when it is finished and add pictures from before and after, but that's its own side note.

We ended July with Jon running his first half marathon!  I am so proud of him and still can't believe that he actually did it!  It was so awesome to see him coming to the finish line!  I was really nervous for him and hoped he would be able to do it--and he did awesome!  He is amazing!

Then we had the first week of August as our own little family to do what we wanted.  It was so fun--a "stay-cation" as they call it.  We started Monday with Temple Square.  We took the kids to the top of the Church Office building, walked around the visitor centers, and then took Trax to Gateway and ate dinner in the food court.  It was crazy going to Gateway--not that it's bad, but such a different spirit than being at Temple Square all day.  It is so amazing how this little city is very much like a city on one block and then on another block it is so peaceful and beautiful all around you.

Tuesday we went up Provo Canyon.  We hiked Stewart Falls.  The kids did an amazing job!  They never complained and hiked quite well.  We packed dried fruit, granola bars, and water bottles for everyone and just took it nice and easy.  It was a beautiful hike!  The mountains were so luscious and there were green ferns growing all over the trail--really quite beautiful!  I love the mountains!  Then we built a fire, roasted hotdogs and marshmallows and sat around the fire for a bit.  It was so fun!

Wednesday we went up to Ogden to the Train Museum.  It was cool, not anything super amazing, but we enjoyed it.  We then went to the Roy Aquatic Center.  We went down the waterslides many times with the kids.  It was super fun--perfect for kids!  We stopped at Grandma Hansen's on the way home and had dinner with them.  They had hid $12 worth of quarters and nickles in their sandbox--so then the kids spent about an hour playing and digging in the sand to find the money--that was pretty fun!

Thursday we went to the Zoo.  They had a dinosaur theme thing going on which was fun, but distracting from the real animals.  They had these fake, but pretty realistic dinosaurs placed throughout the zoo that moved and made noises.  I think my kids really weren't sure if they were real or not--at least Jonathan was pretty convinced that they were real--especially since many of the real animals didn't move or make noises.  But it was really fun and the kids really enjoyed it.  We then went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner--our favorite!  We thoroughly enjoyed it!!  And then we went and saw Kung Fu Panda 2.  That was a little crazy with Amelia--she was pretty tired of being held or in the stroller since she hadn't been able to crawl around all day, but in the end, we conquered and between Jon and I we saw pretty much the whole movie!  It was a really cute movie by the way.

Friday was stay at home/project day, which the kids didn't care too much for, but hey, they got to play in a room FULL of legos (we only have a huge tote full) while Jon and I worked on some yard projects we haven't been able to get to all summer.  We finally worked a bit on our fence, front flowerbed, wood pile, and garden.  It was nice to get those things looking better.

This week, the girls last week before school starts, we went to Grandma Robertson's to spend  a couple of nights.  We hiked up the Aspen Grove Timp trail up to second falls with Grandma and Grandpa, then got some yummy icecream treats (thanks to Carrie Scillito Magnum bars are now a favorite treat amongst the Robertson clan--the double chocolate are absolutely irresistable!).  The kids had so much fun spending the night and playing the next day.  We had a picnic with Becca in Salem, swam in Grandma's pool, played in the irrigation, watched some fun movies, and then it was time to come back to reality.  That's always the hard part!

It has been a great summer!  We have implemented things that I have always wanted to do as a mom and I have really been enjoying that.  Aubrey and I started making a quilt together last year that we haven't finished, Mariah and I started making a hat that we had never finished and Jonathan had a few things he wanted to sew with me.  I decided to take 1 hour 3 days/week and each kid got 1 hour of sewing time with me to work on a project of their choice.  It has been really fun.  We didn't do it the weeks that we had too much going on with family and were gone all day, but we did do it many times.  Aubrey's quilt is coming along, Mariah's hat is done and we are on to another project, Jonathan is making a "lion" bag--it will be pretty neat when it is done.  It's good for the kids to learn that things take time, but when we work on them, they do get done.

We have also started Family Council on Sundays and afterward we write in journals.  I think that has really helped with the kids knowing what it going on.  We discuss things that need to get done that week and the things we are planning to do.  We schedule their sewing time, chores, and fun activities.  It has been nice to get things in better order.  And that is currently what I am working on in my house--getting it in better order.  I am liking it quite a bit!

Playing "Princess"

Um so my kids are pretty darn creative and they have a lot of fun together.  I want them to be best friends, and I think they really are--most of the time anyway.  I don't like having too much "friend" influence in my home--possibly a bad thing, but I like my kids to have fun together.  They do have friends at school, but I really only like friends to come over one day a week--the rest of the little time we have after school is not for friends to continue to influence my children--since they have already been with them at school for about 8 hours--another thing I really hate.  Hmmm--homeschooling--hmmm--thought about it many times, but don't think I could really do it without it being detrimental to my children's education and social skills and possibly my sanity (I don't like them gone all day, but some of the day is nice).

Okay, so off my little soap box and back to my post.  The kids were playing "princess" and of course, Jonathan is always a "prince" or Robin Hood or something like that when they play those kind of things.  There really are mostly girl dress ups--which we have actually been collecting some more boy-type dress up things, which Jonathan loves of course, and of course, his Darth Vader costume is one of those things.  So while playing princess, the girls convinced Jonathan that it would be fun to dress him up as a princess and Mariah as the Prince.  Aubrey is extremely talented when it comes to art and creativity.  I love the hair she came up with!!

Well, all I have to say is that it really was pretty darn funny!!  The truth is, I had forgotten this had happened (they had played this quite a while ago) until I was going through my pictures the other day and came across these.  I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants.  Needless to say, I knew I had to post them!

"Born-Again Motherhood" or Finding Content and Joy in My Life Here & Now

Well, I don't really keep a journal anymore--and I really should.  I also don't scrap book either.  Jon is AWESOME at recording things and we have a lot of family movies, which I think is the best "scrap-book" of all because you can actually hear and see what we have done.  But it is really nice to ponder and explain my own feelings and thoughts as I raise my family and move forward in this "test" of life.  So I am warning you, this is really long, it has many of my ponderings as of late.  I don't care if nobody ever reads it, but at least I have written it down somewhere and it is a nice way to sort out my thoughts.  So here it goes.  

Sometimes it is hard to keep the eternal perspective that this life is really just a test for us to proove ourselves and eventually become Gods ourselves.  All I really want more than anything is to be with Jon forever and to see my children find a spouse that they love and want to be with forever.  I have been pondering a LOT on being a mom lately.  I really was getting tired of the constant house-work and the little tasks I have to do each day.  After having Amelia, things had really gotten disorganized and I just felt like things were piling up and I couldn't keep up with it all.  I would have to say that I really needed a break.  So, the opportunity came up to go on a trip with the kids (Jon couldn't take off work) and my parents down to Arizona.  I went.  I was tired of the house, of the messes and of the cold dreary winter.  Some sunshine really sounded wonderful!  

So we went and got to see my little brother Jay--really fun to see him at his school and spend a little time with him.  I stayed with Jon's sister, Kathy and my parents stayed with my brother, James and his wife, Emily who had just had a baby--my parents went down to help out with the newborn.  Kathy and James are in the same ward!  Pretty ironic, really!  Jon's other sister, Mary is also in the same ward with them as well--so we got to see her and her kids also.  It was a really nice opportunity to spend some time with several different family members all in one trip!

I would have to say for me the nicest thing was to get to know Kathy and her family better and to see how she ran her household.  It was so good for me and such a reminder of my responsibility as a mother and to find joy in it.  I think I find myself trying to do so many other things that I want to do or "need" to do that I get crazy and busy and then I don't get anything done and cause stress to my kids and husband.  When I first came home I was actually quite depressed and I wasn't sure exactly what it was--I had such a wonderful time in Arizona and I really missed what I felt there.  It was hard to come back to my disorganized home with all it's funny little problems--like the silverware drawer falling out if you pull it all the way open, or the lack of any space for things in the bathrooms so the counters are full of stuff, the carpet that I hate because it still looks gross the minute after you vacuum it, the disorganization of the kids room and all the rooms really.  I just didn't have a nice enough home to keep up nicely like Kathy did--and I was also being really bothered at how much we are paying to be living in an old home with so many inconveniences when with the current market you could get a much larger and nicer home for what we paid for ours.  I was also frustrated and hurt from people in my neighborhood and my calling.  Finances are ALWAYS a struggle.  I do so much to live so tight and we do live so tight and I wanted some financial freedom.  I thought about how we could have some financial freedom if we weren't paying so much for our house.  I really wanted to just leave.  To move and start somewhere else all fresh and new without people getting on my case for not doing things how they wanted them done, have a smaller house payment, have a budget that isn't just enough to buy food and an occasional something here and there.  I was depressed needless to say and didn't know how I was going to get on top of it.  It starts with prayer, that's for sure.  Really it's the Sunday School answers, plus some physical exercise--for me, running is my anti-depressant, mind you, I don't just feel like running all the time and when I am running consistently, I often am actually getting less sleep and when you are down, you are much more tired, so it is pretty hard to convince yourself that you should get up early to exercise (because I have to get up really early to run), but when I am running consistently, I can handle things much better and I am able to clear my mind and think and ponder on things better, not to mention my body feels better--so running for me helps physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.  If you have depression problems (which I think everyone does--it's just everyone deals with it differently--get spiritually and physically active).  Amy's Theory:  Spiritual + Physical = Mental and Emotional stability.  Well, I could do a whole blog post on that!  But not for now, sorry for the tangent.  

So back to my strugglings--I was praying and searching for what, I don't know--something.  I wanted to find the joy and peace I felt at Kathy's home, but I didn't want to be Kathy, I just wanted to feel content with what I have and where I am at in my life.  And if I was supposed to be or do something different, I wanted to know what that was.  I started to run consistently.  I made some phone calls I needed to make to clear some things up with some people.  I was scared to do it, but I prayed to be able to do it, be strong, but not rude or angry and it went just fine.  I found a running buddy (if you are having a hard time getting up, get a running buddy that you have to meet--then you will really go).  

I started to realize that the reality of it was not the nice home.  I know plenty of people with nice homes and theirs' aren't what I was looking for--it's the spirit of the home--and the homemaker is the main creator of that.  I knew that our home was a blessing and that when we bought it, it was where we felt we were supposed to be.  We were making it financially--barely, but I had been blessed to be able to live tight, to not let lack of fashion, and fashionable kids, and whatnot get to me--because we just can't worry about that.  We are to be nice and comely.  We are clean and that's good enough.  

But I really was searching for something--I still felt discontent and like something wasn't right--I just wasn't at peace yet, but I was starting to feel better about things.  I was praying to learn and do what I needed to learn and do.  I also was praying to cherish and enjoy my children more and the more I prayed for help in cherishing being a mom and cherishing my children, the more I was remembering to sincerely work on cherishing and loving my children and being a mom. 

I can't actually put my finger on it to be honest.  But here I am almost 2 months later and I am a different person.  I am a different mother.  I have a whole new perspective and I really am not sure what it was that was bothering me so very much before, or I should say why it was bothering me so very much before.  There are definitely things that bother me and get to me, but I can move on.  It is really amazing to me.  I am loving my children so much more, I have been gradually getting my home in better order, I have been enjoying cooking new meals and taking care of my families physical needs, and I really feel like there is a change in my life.  

I would call it "born-again motherhood".  I know being a mom can be so hard, but I also know Satan wants us to be discontent with it.  We are here to raise these spirits so that they can accomplish what they are meant to do.  I look at my children differently and with a love and joy that I wasn't feeling a few months ago.  I have felt it other times in my life, but I had let my frustrations and upsetness, and discouragement take those feelings over.  My kids aren't different, they aren't amazingly good and obedient (though they are good kids that often amaze me at just how good they really are at times) and they do fight and get upset.  But who doesn't?  

We are all people and we all have feelings and emotions.  We have to decide how we will handle and act out on our feelings and emotions.  Are we going to let them get to us and get us down?  Or are we going to address them, and move on realizing that some of them we can't do anything about and some of them we can.  The main thing is to keep an eternal perspective.  This life is a test--a time to prove ourselves worthy to attain eternal life with our loved ones.  It was after the earthquake in Japan that I thought, you know, if we all die in an earthquake, I am okay with that.  I am ready when it is our time.  I for sure don't want to leave my children of course, and I for sure don't want to leave this earth before I can raise my children (and I have made Jon swear to never get sealed to someone else if I were to die first--he can re-marry, just not get sealed--I am not a sharing my guy type of person).  

But it hit me that it doesn't matter if we don't have a nice house, nice clothes, go on nice vacations, have nice cars, a fancy yard, or this and that. I already knew that deep down, but when you see so many people with nice things, clothes, going on big trips and so on, it is sometimes hard to keep that eternal perspective.  All that matters is that we are righteous stewards over what we have been blessed with.  

We actually do have a nice house (not according to the latest home designs) but we have a good home, we have nice clothes--they are clean, they are modest, we have nice cars--they work and they get us where we need to go, we do have plenty of food and plenty of things.  We have more than enough.  We are greatly blessed.  I love my family so much.  I love my children so much and I hope to raise them in righteousness and teach them and guide them so that they may make righteous choices when they are older and so that they may be happy.  

I feel happy, I feel at peace.  I have the same financial problems, I have the same house, I have what I had 2 months ago (well, except I bought new kitchen cabinets on ksl that are filling up my garge--so I don't have a garage to park my car in, but I do have the potential to have new cabinets in my kitchen--frankly, I am really excited about that) anyway, all that has really changed is me.  I know I will have ups and downs all through my life, I know I have some coming up pretty soon here, but I know I can get through them.  We all can.

I knew their room stank!!

Okay, so kids rooms stink.  Especially at night I have come to learn.  They are real sweaters and they can really stink up a room.  We go in to tuck them in each night--kiss their little heads and make sure they are covered and warm.  Each time we open that door--whoa--a whiff of lovely sweat mugginess.

Well apparently there was more to the story than I realized.  So we haven't gone through the dress-ups in a long time but I was tired of the tote of dress-ups which not only included several cute little princess dresses and accessories, but some legos, cars, trains, oh, and don't forget that pair of gloves of mine that I have been looking for oh, and Jon's Sunday belt and tie.  After dumping the pile of "Dress-ups" onto the floor and telling the kids to clean up the toys and only put dress-ups into the dress-up tote, I went to nurse my sweet little Amelia who doesn't put toys in the wrong place--oh wait, she can't pick them up yet, but she soon will.  Sitting, reading, and nursing in the other room I was, and much to my wondering eyes would appear but Mariah with her favorite little dress-up princess glove only her excitement was not about finding the glove, but what she found in the glove--yes as it happens, Mariah is my little raccoon and loses things all of the time and then is as excited on a Christmas morning when she finds her little purses or bags, or sock, or glove, or anything that can hold anything, stuffed full of old things she had "lost".  This time she found a lovely white hard-boiled egg. 

Yum Yum.