Friday, September 14, 2012
Bike Ride with Amelia
Friday, September 7, 2012
Life is never dull!
So I came close to death a few weeks ago, not really, but it sounded good. But it really has made me think. The crazy thing is that I didn't realize that I was in that much trouble. The pain came on gradually and I learned to live with it-not realizing just how bad it was. Life is really like that too. I think sometimes we let something eat at us and we don't let go. We don't realize how much it is affecting us and can kill us in some way. If you let it go too long, it could leave scars. And now I have 3 new scars. I know, so, so cheesy.
Some things just change you-for better or for worse. I hope to let this change me for the better. I couldn't believe all of the kindness and service and thoughts and prayers that were given in my behalf. I spent the first day out of surgery answering floods of texts/calls from friends, family, and neighbors that wanted to know if I was okay and what could they do to help. I had to turn down so many sweet offers of kindness because I had so many. I have so many thank-yous to give and have shed tears of gratitude from the love and kindness I have felt from others. I want to be a gracious giver and sincerely serve others as so many did to me.
I will now share the story, but as is my usual style, it is lengthy and detailed and may be too personal for you, so I have in all fairness warned you.
So it all began in July. The kids and I went to Utah for the month, Jon would be joining us for the last week and we would head home the first Sunday of August, just in time for school to start (this was our way of handling our first summer in Arizona-ha ha). Soon after arriving in Utah, I found out I was expecting, only I found out because I was having abnormal bleeding. I knew from the start that things were going to be rocky. The HCG tests came out odd-the number that should double only went up a little each day, but it was still going up. The number should also have been much higher than it was for how far along I should have been. The doctor checked to see if he could see anything and did see what looked like a normal pregnancy, but it was too early to see a fetus or heartbeat. He scheduled another appointment a few weeks out to recheck things.
So it was a few weeks of waiting and wondering what was going on, meanwhile I was continuing to have abnormal and sporadic bleeding. Jon flew out a few days earlier than planned for the appointment so that he could be there with me to check and see what could be determined. The doctor wasn't my regular dr-(mine was on vacation). He thought the order for another ultrasound was silly and said the numbers from before were too low to see anything and everything might be just fine-I just needed to be patient and that I should just try to forget about it for another 2 weeks and see a Dr when I got to AZ. I was not pleased because I had been waiting, assuming this would be resolved or at least we would learn more, but we didn't. 4 days later I miscarried. It was the last day of the month. We would be heading home in not too long and I was ready to be done with all of this.
After getting home from Arizona, I started feeling pains on my right side every so often. I didn't think much of it-assuming it might be after-pains from the miscarriage. The bleeding was slowing down and I was ready to move on, I tried to get into my regular routine of going running in the morning, working out and then getting the kids off to school. It was much harder than usual and I felt so out of shape.
Not a week later the side pain got intense and the bleeding did too. The nurse from the Utah office happened to call me that day to check on me. I told her what was going on and she said that I needed to find a Dr. in Arizona (I didn't have one yet). She said to take another pregnancy test the following Tuesday (2 weeks after the miscarriage) if I was still bleeding. She said if the test was positive that was not good and I needed to see a dr immediately or even go to the ER and have them do an ultrasound to see what was going on.
Tuesday came around and the test came out positive. I had been asking around for referrals for a Dr. and wasn't getting any great ones (I wanted someone to refer me to their dr because they thought they were an amazing dr). I remembered this really nice sister in my ward that I had met just before going to Utah that was a nurse and she had mentioned how she went to the best OBGYN. So I gave her a call and she gave me a couple of names of Dr.'s-one was even LDS (which I like to have if I can and if I think he is really good too, of course). So I called. There wasn't any new patient openings for any of the names she gave me for several weeks. But someone had just canceled their appointment with Dr. Wilson (the LDS one) for the following morning and they gave that spot to me.
I told him my whole story and he proceeded to do an ultrasound. He did not like what he saw. My pelivs and around my uterus was full of fluid-likely blood. He had their ultrasound technician come in and they looked at me for quite a while and even looked up in my upper organs to see if I had fluid that high (which I didn't). He could see some fluid in my uterus, but not much else. He was concerned that I likely had a topical pregnancy and that could mean surgery-infact with the amount of fluid I had, it could mean immediate surgery. But, if I wasn't in too much pain and could wait a few days to answer some concerns, I could opt to do that. He was concerned about a few things-obviously all the fluid. But he was also slightly concerned that I possibly had a new pregnancy and that was what the HCG reading was-since it is incredibly rare that you have twins-one in the uterus and one out, and that is what it appeared to be (having miscarried the one in the uterus 2 weeks previous). He wanted me to take an HCG test (which his nurse did right then and there) to see what the number was at and then if I could wait 48 hours and do another test and see him afterward, then he could determine some things before doing surgery.
I was alright with waiting (I really didn't want to have surgery unless it was for sure that I needed it). He told me to be very cautious and if I was in tons of pain or if I felt certain things, I was to call immediately and head to the ER and he would meet me there. That was quite disconcerting. It was a long 2 days, though he had his nurse call me the next day to check up on me and then I would be seeing him the following day. I did feel pain and I was worried and stressed about the whole thing. I had been in pain for weeks now, but I didn't feel like I was in enough pain to warrant going to the ER. My appointment was for Friday afternoon. Jon met me there and Dr. Wilson was still waiting on the HCG. He checked me and saw nothing in my uterus, but still saw tons of fluid everywhere in my lower abdomen. He got the results and the number had gone down. That was a very good sign-infact he was very pleased. He said that meant that there wasn't a living fetus and that it was ectopic and at this point, since the number was going down, as long as I wasn't in too much pain or having the signs he had told me to watch for, then I didn't have to have surgery and it could resolve itself. I did have the option to go into surgery right away as well and get it removed and done with, but then I for sure would lose my fallopian tube and have to recover from the surgery. So we all discussed and opted to wait it out. I was to take an HCG test the following week to see how much the number had gone down and was to continue to do so until the number was 0.
I was greatly relieved and so glad it was finally resolving and we knew what was going on. We went home. That evening my side pain got worse. I figured that was normal and didn't worry much about it. That's just how I am-as long as the pain is normal for the situation, I am okay with it, generally. The next day I wasn't hurting as much so I was excited about that. That night-more pain on my right side. Sunday morning I wasn't hurting as much and was pleased that I was on the road to recovery. That changed early afternoon. The pain got worse and I felt really sick to my stomach. It only continued to get worse. I could only just sit on the couch. Jon told me to call the Dr, but I didn't want to bother him over the weekend and I was sure that this was just normal and my body was just working at getting rid of all the blood. Before bed, one of my kids barely bumped into my stomach. It was excruciating. I told Jon I would call the Dr. first thing in the morning. That night it was really hurting, and I really wondered if it was my appendix. Infact, I was sure it must be. I wondered if we should go in to the ER, but I really didn't want to and decided that if I fell asleep, I wasn't in enough pain to go in. I fell asleep a while later.
That morning I got the kids off to school and hobbled around getting things done-shined the bathrooms, did all the laundry, and just kept busy. I knew I should call my Dr, but was afraid to for some reason. I finally called that afternoon and left a message. He called me back on his cell phone, asked me a few questions about my pain and told me he was very concerned and that his nurse was on the office line scheduling my surgery for that evening and that he was making it so that I could bypass the ER and head straight into surgery and to get there asap.
I was extremely shocked. I called some friends who were so kind and willing to take my kids for the night (on a school night too). So I got the kids packed up and ready to go while Jon hurried home to come drop kids off and take me to the hospital. We were also able to get a hold of a friend to come help Jon administer to me just before we left.
My stomach was so tender and so bloated. When we saw Dr. Wilson I told him that it just might burst when he cut into it. They got me all prepped and into surgery. I told Dr. Wilson that I was sure it was my appendix. The next thing I remember was coming to afterward. Dr. Wilson came over and told me it was a huge mess and that he couldn't believe I had held out so long. I asked if it was my appendix and he said that he couldn't even see my appendix because it was such a mess in there and it was obvious what the problem was-and it wasn't my appendix. It was my right fallopian tube. There was a fetus/placenta and whatnot in the right tube and it had grown so much that it had stretched out the tube and then burst at the bottom of the tube. If it had burst at the top of the tube, I would have hemorrhaged, but this was a slower, less explosive burst. The tube should be about the size of a finger, but it was about the diameter of an arm and was covering up the left side completely and bleeding all inside of me. He was just grateful that I came in and that he got it out. Jon and I were grateful too! I already felt so much better than I had in a long time-even with the incisions. I just hadn't realized how much pain I had been in until the pain was gone.
I am so grateful for all of the prayers and kind acts from so many! My parents came out and helped take care of (and made me rest) which was so nice! And it was nice to have them here and see where we live and whatnot. I had so many kind acts from others-bringing us cookies, bread, notes, and sending me texts, calling, and just letting me know that they were there for me. It was so sweet to have so much love during a hard time in my life. It's been almost 3 weeks now and I am so anxious to get back in shape and be a good mom again, and go for a good run!
Some things just change you-for better or for worse. I hope to let this change me for the better. I couldn't believe all of the kindness and service and thoughts and prayers that were given in my behalf. I spent the first day out of surgery answering floods of texts/calls from friends, family, and neighbors that wanted to know if I was okay and what could they do to help. I had to turn down so many sweet offers of kindness because I had so many. I have so many thank-yous to give and have shed tears of gratitude from the love and kindness I have felt from others. I want to be a gracious giver and sincerely serve others as so many did to me.
I will now share the story, but as is my usual style, it is lengthy and detailed and may be too personal for you, so I have in all fairness warned you.
So it all began in July. The kids and I went to Utah for the month, Jon would be joining us for the last week and we would head home the first Sunday of August, just in time for school to start (this was our way of handling our first summer in Arizona-ha ha). Soon after arriving in Utah, I found out I was expecting, only I found out because I was having abnormal bleeding. I knew from the start that things were going to be rocky. The HCG tests came out odd-the number that should double only went up a little each day, but it was still going up. The number should also have been much higher than it was for how far along I should have been. The doctor checked to see if he could see anything and did see what looked like a normal pregnancy, but it was too early to see a fetus or heartbeat. He scheduled another appointment a few weeks out to recheck things.
So it was a few weeks of waiting and wondering what was going on, meanwhile I was continuing to have abnormal and sporadic bleeding. Jon flew out a few days earlier than planned for the appointment so that he could be there with me to check and see what could be determined. The doctor wasn't my regular dr-(mine was on vacation). He thought the order for another ultrasound was silly and said the numbers from before were too low to see anything and everything might be just fine-I just needed to be patient and that I should just try to forget about it for another 2 weeks and see a Dr when I got to AZ. I was not pleased because I had been waiting, assuming this would be resolved or at least we would learn more, but we didn't. 4 days later I miscarried. It was the last day of the month. We would be heading home in not too long and I was ready to be done with all of this.
After getting home from Arizona, I started feeling pains on my right side every so often. I didn't think much of it-assuming it might be after-pains from the miscarriage. The bleeding was slowing down and I was ready to move on, I tried to get into my regular routine of going running in the morning, working out and then getting the kids off to school. It was much harder than usual and I felt so out of shape.
Not a week later the side pain got intense and the bleeding did too. The nurse from the Utah office happened to call me that day to check on me. I told her what was going on and she said that I needed to find a Dr. in Arizona (I didn't have one yet). She said to take another pregnancy test the following Tuesday (2 weeks after the miscarriage) if I was still bleeding. She said if the test was positive that was not good and I needed to see a dr immediately or even go to the ER and have them do an ultrasound to see what was going on.
Tuesday came around and the test came out positive. I had been asking around for referrals for a Dr. and wasn't getting any great ones (I wanted someone to refer me to their dr because they thought they were an amazing dr). I remembered this really nice sister in my ward that I had met just before going to Utah that was a nurse and she had mentioned how she went to the best OBGYN. So I gave her a call and she gave me a couple of names of Dr.'s-one was even LDS (which I like to have if I can and if I think he is really good too, of course). So I called. There wasn't any new patient openings for any of the names she gave me for several weeks. But someone had just canceled their appointment with Dr. Wilson (the LDS one) for the following morning and they gave that spot to me.
I told him my whole story and he proceeded to do an ultrasound. He did not like what he saw. My pelivs and around my uterus was full of fluid-likely blood. He had their ultrasound technician come in and they looked at me for quite a while and even looked up in my upper organs to see if I had fluid that high (which I didn't). He could see some fluid in my uterus, but not much else. He was concerned that I likely had a topical pregnancy and that could mean surgery-infact with the amount of fluid I had, it could mean immediate surgery. But, if I wasn't in too much pain and could wait a few days to answer some concerns, I could opt to do that. He was concerned about a few things-obviously all the fluid. But he was also slightly concerned that I possibly had a new pregnancy and that was what the HCG reading was-since it is incredibly rare that you have twins-one in the uterus and one out, and that is what it appeared to be (having miscarried the one in the uterus 2 weeks previous). He wanted me to take an HCG test (which his nurse did right then and there) to see what the number was at and then if I could wait 48 hours and do another test and see him afterward, then he could determine some things before doing surgery.
I was alright with waiting (I really didn't want to have surgery unless it was for sure that I needed it). He told me to be very cautious and if I was in tons of pain or if I felt certain things, I was to call immediately and head to the ER and he would meet me there. That was quite disconcerting. It was a long 2 days, though he had his nurse call me the next day to check up on me and then I would be seeing him the following day. I did feel pain and I was worried and stressed about the whole thing. I had been in pain for weeks now, but I didn't feel like I was in enough pain to warrant going to the ER. My appointment was for Friday afternoon. Jon met me there and Dr. Wilson was still waiting on the HCG. He checked me and saw nothing in my uterus, but still saw tons of fluid everywhere in my lower abdomen. He got the results and the number had gone down. That was a very good sign-infact he was very pleased. He said that meant that there wasn't a living fetus and that it was ectopic and at this point, since the number was going down, as long as I wasn't in too much pain or having the signs he had told me to watch for, then I didn't have to have surgery and it could resolve itself. I did have the option to go into surgery right away as well and get it removed and done with, but then I for sure would lose my fallopian tube and have to recover from the surgery. So we all discussed and opted to wait it out. I was to take an HCG test the following week to see how much the number had gone down and was to continue to do so until the number was 0.
I was greatly relieved and so glad it was finally resolving and we knew what was going on. We went home. That evening my side pain got worse. I figured that was normal and didn't worry much about it. That's just how I am-as long as the pain is normal for the situation, I am okay with it, generally. The next day I wasn't hurting as much so I was excited about that. That night-more pain on my right side. Sunday morning I wasn't hurting as much and was pleased that I was on the road to recovery. That changed early afternoon. The pain got worse and I felt really sick to my stomach. It only continued to get worse. I could only just sit on the couch. Jon told me to call the Dr, but I didn't want to bother him over the weekend and I was sure that this was just normal and my body was just working at getting rid of all the blood. Before bed, one of my kids barely bumped into my stomach. It was excruciating. I told Jon I would call the Dr. first thing in the morning. That night it was really hurting, and I really wondered if it was my appendix. Infact, I was sure it must be. I wondered if we should go in to the ER, but I really didn't want to and decided that if I fell asleep, I wasn't in enough pain to go in. I fell asleep a while later.
That morning I got the kids off to school and hobbled around getting things done-shined the bathrooms, did all the laundry, and just kept busy. I knew I should call my Dr, but was afraid to for some reason. I finally called that afternoon and left a message. He called me back on his cell phone, asked me a few questions about my pain and told me he was very concerned and that his nurse was on the office line scheduling my surgery for that evening and that he was making it so that I could bypass the ER and head straight into surgery and to get there asap.
I was extremely shocked. I called some friends who were so kind and willing to take my kids for the night (on a school night too). So I got the kids packed up and ready to go while Jon hurried home to come drop kids off and take me to the hospital. We were also able to get a hold of a friend to come help Jon administer to me just before we left.
My stomach was so tender and so bloated. When we saw Dr. Wilson I told him that it just might burst when he cut into it. They got me all prepped and into surgery. I told Dr. Wilson that I was sure it was my appendix. The next thing I remember was coming to afterward. Dr. Wilson came over and told me it was a huge mess and that he couldn't believe I had held out so long. I asked if it was my appendix and he said that he couldn't even see my appendix because it was such a mess in there and it was obvious what the problem was-and it wasn't my appendix. It was my right fallopian tube. There was a fetus/placenta and whatnot in the right tube and it had grown so much that it had stretched out the tube and then burst at the bottom of the tube. If it had burst at the top of the tube, I would have hemorrhaged, but this was a slower, less explosive burst. The tube should be about the size of a finger, but it was about the diameter of an arm and was covering up the left side completely and bleeding all inside of me. He was just grateful that I came in and that he got it out. Jon and I were grateful too! I already felt so much better than I had in a long time-even with the incisions. I just hadn't realized how much pain I had been in until the pain was gone.
I am so grateful for all of the prayers and kind acts from so many! My parents came out and helped take care of (and made me rest) which was so nice! And it was nice to have them here and see where we live and whatnot. I had so many kind acts from others-bringing us cookies, bread, notes, and sending me texts, calling, and just letting me know that they were there for me. It was so sweet to have so much love during a hard time in my life. It's been almost 3 weeks now and I am so anxious to get back in shape and be a good mom again, and go for a good run!
Summer just flew by!
I haven't posted in forever-but that's pretty normal for me. So much has happened in the past few months! Jay's wedding was incredible! I loved going to Portland, Oregon. I met some siblings there early and we hung out together for a few days-it was so so so much fun! Emily, James and I coordinated our plane tickets to land within a couple of hours of each other, then we rented a car and shared a hotel room. I have never gone a trip like that before and it was such a blast! I want to do it again only next time with Jon as well. Portland was breathtaking and I just couldn't get over how beautiful and green it was! We hiked Multnomah falls, went to canon beach, ran around the river in the city, and lots more! It was just a delightful and fun trip! Jay's wedding was beautiful! I just started crying when I saw him come into the sealing room of the temple. Finally my awesome little bro was getting married to an awesome woman! It was just a beautiful day! Emily and I were on the same flight on the way home so that was really fun too! It was hard to come back to my desert home!
School was over (I had left on the second to last day of school) and our first summer in Arizona began! We planned to go to Utah for the month of July so we just had to get through June for starters. We actually had quite a fun month! Every Wednesday we went to a neighbors pool to swim for a couple of hours and a few times we went to lunch with friends afterwards. The library had a fun summer reading program and so we went to the library and did quite a bit of reading and each of the kids earned a free new book. We went the Mesquite Aquatic swim center every Friday as soon as Jon got home from work. We would grab a pizza on our way down and eat in the car then enjoy the swim park for a couple of hours until it closed. It really was a fun June!
July came and our plans to go to Utah for the 4th got changed because of Jon's work. So we stayed in Arizona and we actually had our coldest 4th of July ever!! There was a huge rainstorm and it wasn't super cold, but it wasn't hot either! We went down to Tuscon and had a really nice day with Jon's sister, Kathy and her family and my brother, James and his family. We played games, ate good food, and enjoyed good company! We had an adventure driving out to Jon's other sister's home to swim in her pool. The rain had flooded out many of the roads and we even slid in one of the washes as we tried to drive through it! It was pretty crazy!
I left with the kids for Utah 2 days later to make it in time for Jay's wedding open house at my parents. It was beautiful! Becca (my sister) had decorated it amazingly and my parents had worked hard to make their already beautiful yard even more beautiful! It was really fun to be apart of it all and to be with so much of my family!
We spent the month of July in Utah and enjoyed the beautiful weather, the green grass, the beautiful mountains, grandmas swimming pool, irrigation, and good company! Jon flew out to join us for the last week of July and beginning of August-in time for our neice, Mariel, to get married. It was a beautiful wedding in the Draper Temple and then they had a very nice luncheon and reception up Provo canyon. It was so nice to see Jon's siblings and family and be a part of Mariel's beautiful day.
We returned home to Arizona 2 days before school started (we start early here). It was craziness getting ready and back into a routine, but it was good to be home!
School was over (I had left on the second to last day of school) and our first summer in Arizona began! We planned to go to Utah for the month of July so we just had to get through June for starters. We actually had quite a fun month! Every Wednesday we went to a neighbors pool to swim for a couple of hours and a few times we went to lunch with friends afterwards. The library had a fun summer reading program and so we went to the library and did quite a bit of reading and each of the kids earned a free new book. We went the Mesquite Aquatic swim center every Friday as soon as Jon got home from work. We would grab a pizza on our way down and eat in the car then enjoy the swim park for a couple of hours until it closed. It really was a fun June!
July came and our plans to go to Utah for the 4th got changed because of Jon's work. So we stayed in Arizona and we actually had our coldest 4th of July ever!! There was a huge rainstorm and it wasn't super cold, but it wasn't hot either! We went down to Tuscon and had a really nice day with Jon's sister, Kathy and her family and my brother, James and his family. We played games, ate good food, and enjoyed good company! We had an adventure driving out to Jon's other sister's home to swim in her pool. The rain had flooded out many of the roads and we even slid in one of the washes as we tried to drive through it! It was pretty crazy!
I left with the kids for Utah 2 days later to make it in time for Jay's wedding open house at my parents. It was beautiful! Becca (my sister) had decorated it amazingly and my parents had worked hard to make their already beautiful yard even more beautiful! It was really fun to be apart of it all and to be with so much of my family!
We spent the month of July in Utah and enjoyed the beautiful weather, the green grass, the beautiful mountains, grandmas swimming pool, irrigation, and good company! Jon flew out to join us for the last week of July and beginning of August-in time for our neice, Mariel, to get married. It was a beautiful wedding in the Draper Temple and then they had a very nice luncheon and reception up Provo canyon. It was so nice to see Jon's siblings and family and be a part of Mariel's beautiful day.
We returned home to Arizona 2 days before school started (we start early here). It was craziness getting ready and back into a routine, but it was good to be home!
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